I was moseying along, mostly doing the right things for moving on: counseling, affirmations, gratitudes, getting out with friends, yoga, cardio, and saying NO to the old thoughts, wounds, hurts, and memories that cut like a knife. I knew I would eventually get to where I wanted to be - completely free of the drama, turmoil, hurt, anger, and disgust. It had only been 9-1/2 months; I thought I just had to get through the rest of this year. And then karma hit. I heard about it from 2 sources. POP went the last shreds of the negative feelings I was hanging onto inside of me.
I always knew in my brain that karma would hit. But my heart didn't trust my brain. My heart thought it really was my fault and that I got what I deserved for overlooking the signs, burying my head in the sand, closing my eyes, and hoping for the best. My brain was starting to win the battle, but it was still a tough fight last week. Until I got the email that said, "Well it didn't take long for karma to hit." I still have no idea exactly how it hit - who found out what about whom. I have absolutely no interest in the details. They don't matter. Those words set me free. FREE!!!
So now I'm going to enjoy the freedom and look forward to the rest of this year, even the holidays which I feared would be covered with thick gray clouds. That fear is gone. The celebrations won't be like past year's celebrations. That is ok. I will find new ways to celebrate.
Thank you karma!
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